4 Ways to Build Solid Families
As we enter a brand new month of 2022, we’re kicking off a brand new series: Intentional Family. In a culture where the importance of family is fading, we must remember that family is the core of the heart of God–both the nuclear family and the church family. Whether you’re married, engaged, dating, or single, this series is for you. We’re diving into God’s word and discovering 4 ways to build solid families in an over sexualized, over individualized culture.
Why are families so important?
What is it about family that makes it so important that VFC would intentionally use “family” as part of the name of our church? To put it simply…Family is important to us because family is important to God. Families are the foundation on which society is built upon; the values of a family are ultimately reflected in society at large.
The family is considered the core of society because it’s the place where its members are most personally affected. Family is the easiest place to instill values and create change. Plus, God designed families as the first source of spiritual training and preparation for life. God intended for the family to provide the physical, emotional, social, economical, and spiritual needs of its members.
God’s purpose for families is NOT:
- It’s NOT merely paying the bills and just surviving
- It’s NOT maintaining a relationship just for the sake of having a comfort of a relationship
- It’s NOT going through the humdrum motions of life–the laundry, the groceries, the house cleaning, the going to work, the getting the kids to school.
- It’s NOT just having fun and enjoying each other’s company for a lifetime.
These things are all good, but they’re not God’s ultimate plan for family. Unfortunately, these practices are the very things that bog families down and distract us from God’s higher purpose. In 4 ways to build solid families, we discover a clear view of God’s higher purpose for family.
Discussion:
Think about what God’s purpose for families is not. What do you think God’s higher purpose for families is?
Which piece of daily life holds you and your family back from living our God’s higher purpose?
How do we break the cycle of humdrum motions and raise the family God intended us to?
Why do we need strong families?
God’s desire for family is to produce spiritually and emotionally mature human beings who, in turn, get the word of God done here on earth. Building strong families doesn’t just happen. Building strong families requires deliberate determination, practice, and intentional effort.
In 4 ways to build solid families, at timestamp 4:30, Pastor Richard shares a powerful illustration of the importance of strong families as we see what can happen when a family experiences applied pressure. (Seriously, this visual leaves an impact…go watch it!)
There are powerful parallels between Pastor Richard’s illustration and the family unit. Some families crack under the pressures of life. But other families, those with a strong foundation, stay intact and whole, despite the pressures of life.
The solid foundation of strong families is Jesus Christ.
Colossians 1:15-17 says this about Jesus: (GWT) 15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16 He created all things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible. Whether they are kings or lords, rulers or powers—everything has been created through him and for him. 17 He existed before everything and holds everything together.
Only in Christ can we truly build strong families. The world works overtime to pull our families apart, but Jesus will always hold our families together. Families are close to the heart of God–they were His idea in the first place!
We see God’s passion for families throughout biblical genealogy from the very beginning. The promise of the Messiah, Jesus Christ, aws passed from one generation to the next. Families are important!
From Adam and Eve to Noah and his family to Abraham and Sara to the fullness of time when God sent His Son, Jesus, to live and die for the very people he created–God has always had a plan for families, since the very first book of Genesis. As we jump over to Deuteronomy, we discover 4 ways to build solid families for ourselves and for generations to come.
Discussion:
Think about your own family. How did previous generations’ beliefs and faith help shape your own?
What was God’s plan for families then and what is His plan for your family now?
4 Ways to Build Solid Families
Between Genesis and Deuteronomy chapter 6, God calls Abrahamn and gives him the promise that he will be the father of many nations. As a result, the nation of Israel was born. After being in captivity for 400 years as slaves in Egypt, God calls Moses to deliver the nation of Israel into the Promise Land.
In 4 ways to build solid families, at timestamp 10:24, we hear the story of the Israelites deliverance and understand the magnitude of God’s passion for families. As the Israelites approach the Promise Land, they must first penetrate a Pagan culture–a culture that does not recognize God, the scriptures, or absolute truth on any level. (Sound familiar? It’s a lot like the culture we’re living in today.)
God knows that as the Israelites settle into the Promise Land, if they’re not careful, they’ll get comfortable, complacent, indifferent, and forget all about the blessings God has bestowed upon them. To prepare them, Moses reminds the Israelites of the essentials–the basics–of how to have a solid faith and build intentional families. Deuteronomy 6:1-3 says:
(NKJV) “Now this is the commandment, and these are the statutes and judgments which the Lord your God has commanded to teach you, that you may observe them in the land which you are crossing over to possess, 2 that you may fear the Lord your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, you and your son and your grandson, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged. 3 Therefore hear, O Israel, and be careful to observe it, that it may be well with you, and that you may multiply greatly as the Lord God of your fathers has promised you—‘a land flowing with milk and honey.’
Moses addressed the family. In the subsequent verses of Deuteronomy 6, we discover the 4 ways to build solid families, as directed by God.
1. Hear the Truth Continually
Deuteronomy 6:4 (NKJV) “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one!
If we're going to have strong, intentional, Christian families in a post-Christian culture, then we and our children need to hear the truth continually. Just like the Israelites, we need to hear and be reinforced that our God is the one true God; He is not one of many “little g” gods.
Our God, the one true God, faithfully keeps His promises–then and now. In 4 ways to build solid families, at timestamp 17:08, Pastor Richard uses a beloved childhood story as a metaphor to help us understand the power of hearing the truth continually.
In order to believe something, we need to hear it and we need to hear it repeatedly. To succeed in life and intentionally build strong families, we–ourselves, our children, our parents, our grandchildren, our siblings, our families–need to hear God’s word continually.
2. Love the Lord Passionately
Deuteronomy 6:5 (NKJV) You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
What word do we see over and over again in that verse? ALL. Our love for Jesus has to be all encompassing; it has to be total–not partial, not only when it’s convenient. This love has nothing to do with religion; it can only occur within the context of a relationship with Jesus Christ.
God wants a complete love from us, because he loves us completely! We love Him because He first loved us. When we love God as we’re instructed to in Deuteronomy 6:5, we esteem Him, we delight in Him, we place our faith and our trust in Him, we worship Him, we are obedient to Him, we prioritize Him first.
It is impossible for us to help a child catch something that we haven’t caught ourselves. In other words, we cannot pass a torch that’s not lit in our own lives. If the sincerity of our passionate love for Jesus isn’t solidly demonstrated in our actions, it will sound hollow, empty, and insincere coming off our lips.
The covenant commitment to love the Lord our God must be intentionally instilled within the fabric, the DNA of our families…but it has to start with us.
3. Teach the Young Diligently
Deuteronomy 6:7-9 (NKJV) 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
God’s desire is that there is a consistent transfer of His truth from one generation to the next. Christianity is always one generation away from extinction. Pastor Jeff highlights this principle for us in his message alongside Pastor Beth, The Exchange Zone.
Psalms 127:3 (NLT) Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him.
Jesus makes it clear that we are expected to do something with the gifts that are entrusted to us, as seen in the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30. If children really are a gift from the Lord as the scriptures say, then we have a responsibility to teach them about the things of God!
As a church, it’s VFC’s job to help partner with parents in keeping the faith alive in the hearts and minds of our children. Which is exactly why Valley Family Church is launching Getting a grip on the Basics for Kids. This FREE class is for elementary students and begins February 20!
Our kids need to learn about God through the examples that we set. What we do teaches our kids something every single day. In 4 ways to build solid families, at timestamp 24:28, Pastor Richard shares some helpful, applicable tips for us to teach the young diligently. Be sure to check it out!
4. Fear the Lord Greatly
Deuteronomy 6:10-15 (NKJV) 10 “So it shall be, when the Lord your God brings you into the land of which He [c]swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give you large and beautiful cities which you did not build, 11 houses full of all good things, which you did not fill, hewn-out wells which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant—when you have eaten and are full— 12 then beware, lest you forget the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. 13 You shall fear the Lord your God and serve Him, and shall take oaths in His name. 14 You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are all around you 15 (for the Lord your God is a jealous God among you), lest the anger of the Lord your God be aroused against you and destroy you from the face of the earth.
To better understand the meaning of this passage, take the word fear and replace it with other words like respect, honor, reverence. Reverend Billy Graham said “To fear God is to have a deep reverence for Him, and to stand in awe at His holiness and majesty and power and love. Only then will we love and serve and worship Him as we should.”
Proverbs 9:10 (NKJV) The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
When everything is going well and life is good, we’re tempted to forget about God–just like the Israelites once they entered the Promise Land. Moses' warning in this passage from Deuteronomy 6 is just as relevant to us today. God allows us to walk in His blessings, but we need to remember the source of the blessings and be grateful.
Discussion:
In what ways can you help your family and children hear the truth continually?
In what areas do you struggle to love the Lord passionately?
In what ways would you have liked to have been taught diligently when you were young?
What does “fear the Lord greatly” mean to you? How do you describe it?
Families then and families now…
Godly families that are spiritually, emotionally, physically, and socially healthy produce those kinds of people; like begets like. When the family unit is strong and healthy, the members of the family can individually and collectively accomplish God’s plan on the earth. This is why we build solid families!
Throughout the ages, God’s plan and desire has always been for parents to raise up children who know Him and love Him and walk in His ways. In order for that to happen, we have to be intentional ourselves–intentional to hear the truth continually, love the Lord passionately, teach the young diligently, and fear the Lord greatly.
No matter what life season you’re in, God still has a plan and a purpose for you as part of His family. Through faith in Christ, we can fulfill His plan to be fruitful and multiply as we give ourselves to His kingdom by being spiritual mothers, spiritual fathers, spiritual brothers and sisters.
In order to do Kingdom work, Jesus must first be the king of our hearts. It all begins with a relationship with Jesus Christ! God loves us and wants to have a covenant relationship with us. He wants to come into our lives and save us and give us the power and the ability to walk out all of the blessings He’s intended for us. Amen!
Remember: God was interested in families then, and He’s interested in families now.
Prayer:
The Lord bless you and keep you. May his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace. May His favor be upon you, and a thousand generations, and your family, and your children, and their children. May His presence go before you and behind you and beside you–all around you, and within you. He is with you in the morning, in the evening, in your coming, and your going, in your weeping, and rejoicing. He is for you. Amen!
